Five Things I Have Found in a Diaper.

My diaper days are over and I don’t miss it. Sure, I miss cuddles, toddler curls and especially watching Blue’s Clues, but I don’t miss the diapers.

One of the best shower gifts I ever got was a Diaper Genie. I liked it so much it was my standard baby gift (until I found a friend who makes divine baby quilts).

Playtex Diaper Genie Twist- Away Pail System
It is magical, but you don’t want to rub it.

The only problem with the Diaper Genie is my love of nicknaming things. The water heater closet where we stored it for easy access is still called the Stinky Closet.

A decade later and the kids still call that closet the Stinky Closet. Even in front of guests.

Me: “Hey, hang up their coats, willya?”
Kid: “In The Stinky Closet?”
Me, hissing and giving the stink eye: “Yessssssss.”

I assure you it does not and never did smell bad, I just thought it was funny in the 90’s. Like me in a Rachel haircut.

Other funny things include what I find in diapers. Mostly undigested things, so don’t worry.

Diaper changes were like treasure hunts mostly because my kids used them for pockets. “Hey, what dis? I just stick dat dere. Dat a good idea. Mommy be proud!”

  1. SMALL CHANGE. Yeah, I’m just going to toss that. Unless it’s a quarter. Then I’ll wash it off and put it in Daddy’s change jar.
  2. DADDY’S KEYS. It’s not a good idea to let babies play with these. It’s an hour of going through the trash before the next diaper change reveals the hidden location. And I quote, “I told you so.”
  3. LEGOS. This was in Kid Number Two’s (ha ha) pull-up. I thought I was being careful with Legos, since they can be a potential choking hazard, so I suppose the diaper was a preferred place to put them.
  4. A CANDY BAR. This was a game I played at someone else’s baby shower. I do not like this game. Who wants to play a game where you pretend perfectly fine chocolate is poop? What a waste. I almost couldn’t eat it.
  5. A SMALL ENAMELED REFRIGERATOR MAGNET SHAPED LIKE A PIG. Okay, this one did go through a kid first, but it came out pretty clean. I would have almost doubted he ate it except that the plastic magnet on the back changed from black to blue. It has been boiled and is stored for posterity in my jewelry box. 

Someday I’ll give it to his future wife when she has their first future baby. Along with a shiny new Diaper Genie for their Stinky Closet.

 Don’t forget to comment here for my first giveaway running through Friday.

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