Our grocery store has really nice samples of cheeses and deli items during peak evening hours and weekends.
I can snack my way through the right-hand side of the store. I think not being hungry helps reduce my impulse purchases. Yes, all very practical.
I knew something was off with the marinated pork roast with red onions and mango.
Normally samples are under a little clear plastic dome and nestled in ice. These paper sample cups were in the open air and only on a plastic tray.
As I chewed and swallowed, my common sense kicked in a little too late. Also, I saw a fly land on one of the remaining cups.
My youngest child reached for some of the pork and I slow-mo “noooooooo!”‘d her.
We went home, ate the dinner I prepared (okay, it was deli chicken), and I picked up my cousin from the airport.
Cuz and I hung out and watched a movie. I felt fine.
After the movie, I was washing my face and getting ready for bed. I felt rumbly in my tubmly, to quote the great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh.
I woke up in the middle of the night and was sick, violently sick. If I’d been a baking soda volcano, I’d have won first prize at the science fair.
If I were a two-liter of Diet Coke, I’d have had a whole load of Mentos dropped in me.
The worst part was, I had a houseguest (so I had to spew extra quietly), four kids in the house and no husband. He had perfectly timed a business trip far away. Coincidence? I think not.
My cousin left early to go to work and I was in the bed (and bath) in a daze for 36 hours. One of the kids came to check on me once to get the parental code for the Wii in exchange for a glass of ginger ale.
I’m all better now and back to normal. I’m a glass-half-full person, so the upsides are I lost four pounds and pretty sure I can keep it off by never grazing in the grocery store again.
The downside is we either have to repaint the bathroom or move.
Any amusing tales of near-hospitalization for me?