This time, instead of moaning about how much easier it would be to work in a cubicle in Peoria for minimum wage and no benefits, she compares being made fun of on the Internet to being a soldier at war.
After thinking about it, maybe she’s right! Those slackers in the army don’t know how good they have it. Here are all the ways being in the military is exactly like being a movie star.
Your outfits are all picked out by someone else.
A personal fitness trainer.
Haute cuisine, prepared for your special dietary needs.
You get to board all flights first. Some you get to leave first.
Full gear in the desert? A free sauna! Great for detoxifying and losing those last few vanity pounds. Hot yoga is so 2012.
People follow you around and shoot at you. Cameras, guns—the same!
I agree with Gwyneth Paltrow that nobody should be bullied on the Internet.
If Ms. Paltrow means there should be an increased in civility in public discourse, including the commentary on the lives of famous people, then I agree with that too.
I get it. She can’t even take her kids to the nearest 7-11 for a Big Gulp and a bag of Cheetos without having pictures taken, sold, put on a million websites, and picked apart by meanies. I really would hate that too.
But all of that is not the same as being in war, and darn sure not the same as what soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines go through.
Not. Even. Close.
Thank you for the overwhelming support of this piece! I really appreciate it. If you liked it, you may also like this one about PTWD, Post Traumatic Walmart Disorder, and the other time a few years ago I made fun of Gwyneth Paltrow.