House Rules

  1. If you ask what’s for dinner and say “yuck” after I tell you what it is, then you can cook dinner tomorrow. I don’t care if you are five.
  2. If you put your finger up your nose, it’s your job to properly dispose of whatever comes out.
  3. After you have gone to bed for the night, I’d better not see you again until morning. Exceptions for fire, flood, blood and alien invasion. In case of vomit or poop, see Daddy.
  4. Do not talk during Doctor Who. 
  5. I am a grown woman. I will not sleep on Star Wars sheets.
  6. If you do not download the Radio Disney app onto my phone then I will not burn every U2 album onto your iPod. They are too still cool.
  7. If I leave my laptop unattended, do not write “I <3 Justin Bieber!!!” on my Facebook wall.
  8. Don’t mention my Spanx and I won’t mention how old you were when you stopped wetting the bed.
  9. Don’t tell your piano teacher I’m waiting out in the car because I have gas.
  10. Don’t announce that your brothers say “the S-word, D-word and F-word”. People don’t know that in our house they stand for “stupid”, “dummy” and “f*rt”.
  11. Do not loudly ask “who F-worded?” In church. Again.

Have any rules at your house?

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