Because I had kids so young (statistically-young, not country-song-young), most of my mom-friends are ten years older than me.
For twenty years I’ve been able to see my own future previewed on the faces of my friends. It’s not bad and it seemed to happen so slowly. I expected it to be a stately evolution for me, too.
I’m shocked to report that middle age is less of a slow decline and more of a midnight ninja attack.
I used to wake up cute. I’d roll out of bed, slap my dark and shiny hair in a high ponytail, wash my face with whatever and be adorably ready to face the day.
Now those pillow creases take all morning to go away, if ever.There’s this one on my chin that makes me look like Gordon Ramsey. Now I know why he’s grumpy.
The high ponytail is no longer cute on me. Now it’s the Ponytail of Despair, the last resort of hair styles. It’s used to hide terminal bed head, the need for a color touch-up, or the third day after a shampoo.
My previous beauty products of hotel soap and a ChapStick have been replaced by the contents of a small Sephora. I’m pretty sure one of the treatments I use is literally snake oil. It stings a little, but it works.
The unkindest cut of all is having to borrow acre treatment from my son and wrinkle cream from my mother. That just makes all of us uncomfortable.
So, I salute you, women who have gone through this before me. I’d stand up to salute, but I blew out my knee during water aerobics.
My friend recommended Retin A as the Perfect Acne/Wrinkle Cream. Do you have a favorite beauty product to recommend?